of KINGS & carnies Before I Tell You That …

Archive for April 2008

Nonsequitors for 2008-04-30

In Nonsequitors on 30 April 2008 with no comments

Milk is for baby cows.
Fondue is nothing more than an inside-out toasted cheese sandwich, communally eaten.
Yes, you have a nice penis. Now put your pants on.

For Unky Rich …

In Video on 30 April 2008 with 2 comments

Funny Kid · Somewhere Between Dane Cook & Chuck Seiglar
You Don’t Know Chuck Seigler

… hat tip: The BWG

Imagination Is More Powerful Than Knowledge

In Blog on 30 April 2008 with 2 comments

The half-naked boy mudding himself up is a friend of mine (the other boy is my son). He’s keeping the mosquitoes at bay just like Les Stroud does on Survivorman. My Friend loves Survivorman.
My Friend will be going to kindergarten next year. A private school. Yesterday, he was interviewed by the school’s principal. These are […]

Eating Fondue

In Blog on 30 April 2008 with 3 comments

I am not a trendy guy and I like to stay home.
The couple next door wants to go out to dinner with the wife and me. Fine.
They say to my wife, “We’d like to do fondue. Jim will never go for fondue, will he?” They know me.
Everyone was surprised when I said, “Sure. Why not?”
Fondue, […]

Nonsequitors for 2008-04-29

In Nonsequitors on 29 April 2008 with no comments

I’ve never seen her wrestle, but I’d love to see her box.

Nonsequitors for 2008-04-28

In Nonsequitors on 28 April 2008 with no comments

The doctor wants to discuss my friends abnormal testicular ultrasound. He’s worried. I told him not to get nutty. Get it? Nutty.
The stories you read about a cat who finds his way back 1000 miles to his owner’s home? They come all the way back just to say, “Fuck you!”
Turns out my friend’s testicles are […]

From Crazy to Portly

In Blog on 28 April 2008 with no comments

There was a time when Mike Tyson was the baddest man in the world. He was an astounding technical boxer and one of the most powerful punchers heavyweight boxing had ever seen. Once in the ring, he fought with such frightening, controlled rage and fury that many opponents laid down and stayed down the first […]

Pain & Suffering

In Blog on 28 April 2008 with 2 comments

I was just talking to a co-worker who mentioned that dog owners whose dogs have attacked and injured other people’s dogs are getting sued for pain and suffering. And the people placing the lawsuits are winning.
We laughed about how lawyers are always finding new and unique ways to separate you from your money.
And then I […]

Nonsequitors for 2008-04-27

In Nonsequitors on 27 April 2008 with no comments

Two goldfish were in their tank. One turns to the other and says, “You man the gun, I’ll drive.”

Mowing The Field

In Blog on 27 April 2008 with no comments

The Field is a swatch of grass and weeds that is about 150 yards long by 50 yards wide. Over the years, my friends and I played every game you can think of on The Field - from tag to football and catch to golf.
Maintenance of The Field fell squarely and absolutely on my shoulders. […]