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WTF?

Dying Words

Most people who have played tournament golf as a youngster have dreamed of playing at Augusta National Golf Course and competing in the annual Masters tournament that is held there. I certainly did.

I’m thinking of this as I watch the amateur golfer, Michael Thompson, hitting into the 16th hole on that course at that tournament. He’s 20 years my junior.

When I was a kid, I had an incredible record as a high school golfer. I went into my matches prepared to win and, in my senior year, won almost all of them. So good was I that I was one of the top 10 high school golfers in the state. That was 25 years ago.

I recently started playing again. I’m a 4-handicap. And still dream of playing in the Masters.

Or, at least, I used to dream of it - until just now. Just now - I realized it will never be me.

This happens to most of us high school athletes. For a moment, we were somebody; a somebody with a bright-eyed possible future. Then, head down, we live our lives only to look back and see the promises of a glorious future fluttering behind us like shabby moths.

When I was 30-years-old my Pop asked me why I stopped playing competitive golf. I stopped because I didn’t have the time to commit to it. I had a life to begin.

“That’s a shame,” he said. “Because there were a lot of us old guys ready to invest some seed money in you just to see how far you could go.”

“Pop,” I said. “Those are words you should’ve died with.”

If you liked that, maybe you will like this:


2 Comments

I can only assume you’re writing this while out on bail waiting for your murder trial to begin.

Posted by Phineas on 10 April 2008 @ 4pm

I was scanning my regular reads (late this evening) and came across this one. I was compelled to drop by and drop my paw print on it.

I caught a typo—last three words of the paragraph beginning with “This happens to most…” But, that’s not why I’m here.

I dropped by because of the looking back and wondering what might-have-been. Only God knows where those bifurcating paths might lead. All we can see is the path behind where we’ve been. Those alternate paths are only wraiths that haunt us.

I have a couple of those. I originally wanted to be an astronomer. I was disillusioned by “a friend” and never looked back. I sometimes still wonder if I would make a decent scientist. I’ll never know. Another was a career as a musician. When I was a teenager I had some talent with a guitar. I learned to play classical music on nylon stringed guitars. I was good enough to audition at two universities.

But, Wife and I couldn’t see where that future might lead. We turned away from fear of the unknown. I learned to play rhythm and lead guitars as well as acoustics and worked a regular gig as a worship-team leader at our church for about ten years. I had good enough chops for that, including working arrangements and transcriptions that made the music “ours.”

I was also a decent photographer and considered that path for awhile. But, in the end, I stuck with what I was doing — engineering. While that certainly paid the bills, like you, I became engrossed with just building a life and taking care of my family. I tucked my chin and drove straight ahead. All I can see is the path behind me. Those alternative paths are bright wisps beckoning for my attention and my emotional energy. I’ll never know what might have been — I can only know what has been. And in the end, I guess that will be good enough.

Posted by ruminator on 13 April 2008 @ 11pm

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