The Idiocy of Boyhood
Men are idiots. It starts young.
The Thursday before my wife and I went on vacation, we gave the 11-year-old Boy a note to give to the teacher. It said, in essence:
If you need us, don’t call us. We’ll be away. Call one of these people instead.
The next day my wife noticed that The Boy did not give the note to the teacher. This was predictable; she looked for it. Before he went to school she got down to eye level with him and looked him in the face, “This is important. If you only do one thing today do this: Give this note to your teacher.” She put the folded note in his hand.
Yesterday my wife found the note, laundered, in the dryer. Of course.
Last night we went to the beach. When we got home we washed the sand off our feet.
The Boy was the last to rinse his feet. He didn’t turn the hose off; it never occurred to him. For 11 hours water ran into our driveway and out the backyard.
A buddy at work, who has three boys, says that I shouldn’t expect any improvement. Yesterday he asked his 13-year-old son to get a water sample from the pool for testing.
“Make sure you close the gate on your way back,” he directed.
His son didn’t close the gate. My buddy sent his son back out to close the gate.
The kid returned 5-minutes later. My buddy looked out the window. The gate was still open. No one knows what the kid did between the time he went outside to close the gate and the time he returned, because the kid himself didn’t know.
“I didn’t get upset. Years ago I resigned to expecting no improvement from my sons. I’m never disappointed,” my buddy said stoically.
“Do you feel any better?” I asked.
“No.”
:::
Here’s a thought: It’s boys like mine and my buddy’s who grow up to head countries and rule the world. Maybe more Democrats should have voted for Hillary.
If you liked that, maybe you will like this:
- School, Hell, and The Boy
- Thanks Uncle Ed. Thanks George.
- Elvis, Unky Rich, and Me
- If Trees Could Scream
- Bully
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