of KINGS & carnies Before I Tell You That …

Archive for June 2008

Nonsequitors for 2008-06-23

In Nonsequitors on 23 June 2008 with 1 comment

There’s a small chance that George Carlin is trying to make sense of things and barter his way into a better situation.
The old couple were having a nice conversation until he said, “My God, don’t you ever shut up?” It didn’t work. I think she was used to him.
In 20 years of marriage, I’ve never […]

Thanks Uncle Ed. Thanks George.

In Blog on 23 June 2008 with 4 comments

It’s personal. George Carlin is dead. What chance do I have?
When Uncle Eddie came home from being in the Navy he gave me his comedy records. Allan Sherman. Bill Cosby. George Carlin.
I listened to Carlin’s “Take-offs & Put-ons” so frequently that I can still quote it fully today.
Uncle Eddie gave me something that day that […]

Nonsequitors for 2008-06-22

In Nonsequitors on 22 June 2008 with no comments

The romanticism of having your own garden diminishes with the sweaty realization that you don’t find working in a garden very romantic. #

Nonsequitors for 2008-06-21

In Nonsequitors on 21 June 2008 with no comments

@CripesSuzette My wife is a huge Tasha Tudor fan. She is devastated by the news. Thanks for passing it on. #
My wife just said, “Stop quoting me on Twitter.” #

Nonsequitors for 2008-06-20

In Nonsequitors on 20 June 2008 with 1 comment

@dsmouse I work with boobs every day. Mostly an obstacle, seldom an asset. #
@zeldman Working in healthcare, I still use “patient” over “client” or, ahem, “customer.” I think it’s reassuring to be someone’s patient. #
From now on when I reference the Wikipedia I’m going to recite like a Catholic at Mass, “The Wikipedia knows all. […]

Nonsequitors for 2008-06-19

In Nonsequitors on 19 June 2008 with 1 comment

Here’s someone I bet you haven’t thought about in a long time: Tallulah Bankhead. The wikipedia says that she was a bon vivant. Hm. #
This morning my wife said these to things before I left for work: “I’m not putting this in my mouth” and “It’s already hard.” C’mon. #
@Ox_b_bella_xo2 Sweetheart, you have a dirty […]

The Crud

In Blog on 19 June 2008 with 2 comments

The Crud, according to Nan, is any localized rash, blemish, or boil that spontaneously erupts on your skin. It’s the kind of thing that you’re sure is going to spread to the rest of your body and kill you within 48-hours. It’s also the kind of a thing that Nan knew was no big […]

Nonsequitors for 2008-06-18

In Nonsequitors on 18 June 2008 with no comments

Firefox 3. Check.
The Happening is (so bad), so idiotic… that, after seeing it, one almost wonders whether it was real or imagined. http://is.gd/yOy
“No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” I’ve been going to nocommercialpotential.net for years. Didn’t know what it meant. Now I do.
They say insanity is doing the same thing over and […]

Nonsequitors for 2008-06-17

In Nonsequitors on 17 June 2008 with no comments

I saw my first Smart Car on the road today. It looked kinda stupid.
To Reid Stott I chuckle at people driving Hummers, even before the gas prices went up. I think it has something to do with small penises.
To Mark I moved quickly from Twitterific to Twirl early on in my Twitter career. I don’t […]

Rush, Jimmy Buffett, and Me

In Blog on 17 June 2008 with 1 comment

The concert goers shuffled out single-file. They were quiet, beaten. Pale, gaunt, and expressionless, they dragged half-deflated plastic palm trees behind them. “What do you think happened to them?” “Must be the music.” “Do you think that Jimmy Buffett has made a deal with the devil? Fame and wealth for Souls?” […]