of KINGS & carnies Before I Tell You That …

Archive for June 2008

Nonsequitors for 2008-06-16

In Nonsequitors on 16 June 2008 with no comments

Do you think Barrack Obama would email Scarlett Johansson if she was a middle-aged, slightly overweight bank teller?

Nonsequitors for 2008-06-14

In Nonsequitors on 14 June 2008 with no comments

6 birdies + 2 penalty strokes = 74 =$80

Nonsequitors for 2008-06-13

In Nonsequitors on 13 June 2008 with no comments

I am confused by people who print something and then immediately run to the copier to make two copies.
These same people confuse me by printing their email messages and saving them in 3-ring-binders.
If Judas didn’t turn Jesus in, Jesus would not have been sacrificed for our sins, and we’d still be slaughtering goats in the […]

Nonsequitors for 2008-06-12

In Nonsequitors on 12 June 2008 with no comments

They say, “Happy wife, happy life.” It’s a trick. #

Scared the Piss Out of Me

In Blog on 11 June 2008 with 1 comment

A dog is good to have, right? A nice thing to have to help protect your home or, in the case of smaller dogs, at least alert you to something unusual.
Several nights ago, 3AM, our security alarm went off. Downstairs motion detector.
The police came. Nothing. Maybe a spider or a fly landed on the detector.
Last […]

Nonsequitors for 2008-06-10

In Nonsequitors on 10 June 2008 with 2 comments

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing; they just waved.

Cover Me

In Blog on 10 June 2008 with 2 comments

My wife doesn’t like cover bands. She’d rather hear an original, badly written song than hear a re-tread.
Me? I like a good cover band. I like to hear a song I didn’t like in its original version covered well (think Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal” covered by Alien Ant Farm). And I like to hear a […]

The Idiocy of Boyhood

In Blog on 10 June 2008 with no comments

Men are idiots. It starts young.
The Thursday before my wife and I went on vacation, we gave the 11-year-old Boy a note to give to the teacher. It said, in essence:
If you need us, don’t call us. We’ll be away. Call one of these people instead.
The next day my wife noticed that The Boy did […]

Nonsequitors for 2008-06-09

In Nonsequitors on 9 June 2008 with no comments

I come back from vacation & the boss asks, “What’s the financial impact of the 75% Rule has becoming the 60% Rule?” uh. what’s the 75% rule? #
@ShellyBaby7 If you really want an objective Fitness Competition, the Feds already have something set up: http://is.gd/tFU #
@ShellyBaby7 Better yet: http://www.adultfitnesstest.org/ #

Nonsequitors for 2008-06-07

In Nonsequitors on 7 June 2008 with no comments

Jason Giambi’s new mustache makes him look like a 1980s television star. Or porno actor. Or my first jiu-jitsu instructor: http://is.gd/svh #
Yesterday, I had her all to myself. #
It is 100 degrees F. The only thing keeping me from bursting into flames is the drenching humidity. #